A few days ago I lost my best friend.
Warning: This might be hard to read. It is very hard for me to write.
My sweet, sweet Dusty cat. I have never felt more unconditional love and no one has absorbed more of my tears than my Dusty. Our bond was truly unique as far as cats go.
He was 17 and had lived a wonderful, long life.
A year ago Dusty was a fat 13 lb kitty. In the last six months he dropped to a bony 6 lbs. The past two months have been especially hard as we watched his decline. He had become blind, nearly deaf, clumsy and uncoordinated. We knew he was living on borrowed time but had sincerely hoped that he would hang on as long as possible.
The past week was especially painful to watch the old guy as he walked in circles, into walls, etc, not having a clue where he was going. He couldn’t find any of the litter boxes and was having accidents. He would get stuck in places he shouldn’t be. He was having trouble walking up/down stairs and could no longer jump even just a foot onto the sofa. It was heart-wrenching to watch.
Tuesday night was the true beginning of the end when something terrible happened. Dusty walked through the bannister of the stairs and fell six feet straight down to the foyer, then fell through the next bannister to the basement another five feet. E heard the crash and discovered Dusty, nearly lifeless. Poor cat hadn’t been able to express his urine in at least a day and everything let loose at this time. I have never felt so helpless as I did to see him lying there like that. He looked so much like Pharaoh did on his last night, it was almost more than we could bear. That was one of the hardest, saddest nights of my life as I lay on the floor next to him so that he would be comforted to know his best friend was there with him when it was time for him to go. I got very little sleep if any that night as I cried and said my goodbyes.
We spent as much time with him that next morning as we made the decision that was unavoidable at that point. Dusty was in pain and was suffering. I think he was still holding on just for me but I couldn’t bear to see him suffer any longer. With pain and suffering like I never knew possible, we brought Dusty to the vet. We were with him, holding him and kissing him as he died. It was the saddest goodbye, I can’t even think about it without bawling like a baby. My best friend is gone.
The hole in my heart that appeared after Pharaoh’s death exactly a month ago has now ripped in half. I don’t think a day has gone by in the past six weeks that I haven’t broken down in tears at some point, this is one very sad period in my life. Thank God my guy and I have each other to get through this, I don’t know what I would do without him. I pray to God that he doesn’t take my Gramps next or anyone else that is close to me, I don’t think I could handle it.
I have many special memories of Dusty and will be posting a tribute to him soon.
Thanks for reading, have a great day ;)
I am so sorry for your loss! I know exactly how that feels, we went through that with my little dog Natasha (everything you explained was exactly what Natasha experienced) Bug ((HUGS)) and just know that they are running around happy as can be!
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Kristi, we are so sorry for your loss… Dusty was a sweet kitty and we will miss him. Please give E a hug/kiss from us too!! Just remember your fond memories of Pharoah and Dusty to get you through these tough times… they are both happy and playing together!! Love You!! xo
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Kristi – thanks for sharing this, I know it must have been hard to write, but I also know it’s important to be able to express your thoughts in a forum like this.
I feel for you and Erick, I know how much your cats mean to you, it broke my heart to go through the same thing with Frisco and he drove me insane!
Hope you are doing ok.
-Bri
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Twitter: beerandpie
(184 comments) says:
My heart is just breaking for you! :(
I got a little choked up reading this. I’m so sorry for your loss.
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((((HUGS))))) I’m so sorry!!!!!! :(
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Kristi – I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve never cried so hard reading a blog post – I cannot imagine how painful that must have been for you – to watch him go through all of that. You made the right decision, taking him in, while not easy, it would have been more difficult to watch him in pain.
sending lots of love and hugs to you and E.
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Oh Kristi, I am so sorry for your loss. I come from a family of animal lovers and we’ve been through our share of losses so I know how you must be feeling. But I’ve always imagined that animal have a very special place in heaven. I can only think that Dusty is having a grand time and you know he’s watching out for you.
Sending lots of good thoughts your way hon.
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So very sorry for your loss Kristi. (((Hugs)))
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Kristi,
I have tears reading this post. I feel so terrible that I am just getting to this blog now! I’m so sorry for your loss and what you’ve endured through the last month with your kitties. Pets are so special in our lives. RIP, Dusty. I hope you’re get a little bit better as each day passes.
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